Pronominal verbs: classes, auxiliary and participle agreement

A pronominal verb is one that carries a pronoun matching its subject: “je me lève”, “tu te laves”, “ils se parlent”. There are four families: the reflexive ones, the reciprocal ones, those that exist only in this form — “se souvenir”, “s'enfuir” — and those that work as a passive — “ce livre se vend bien”.

In compound tenses, every pronominal verb takes “être”. The auxiliary is fixed, but it does not determine participle agreement on its own.

Agreement is what catches people out, because the auxiliary is “être” and you expect agreement with the subject, as in “elle est partie”. It does not work that way. The right question is what job the pronoun is doing.

If the pronoun is the direct object, it agrees: “elle s'est lavée” — she washed herself. If another direct object follows, the pronoun becomes indirect and there is no agreement: “elle s'est lavé les mains” — what was washed is the hands. And if the verb takes “à”, the pronoun is always indirect and never agrees: “elles se sont téléphoné”.

A practical test is to ask what was washed, seen or combed. If it is the person themself, se is the direct object and the participle agrees. If another direct object follows —hands, hair or teeth—, se is indirect and there is no agreement. Cases not settled by that analysis must be checked verb by verb: se souvenir and s’enfuir agree with the subject; se plaire, se rire and se nuire are invariable; s’arroger follows the direct-object rule.